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I attended my first bridal expo today, and….Holy. Schnikies.

It was almost like being a carcuss in the desert: all the vultures circling, finding the right place to land. Or, maybe I should compare us to a herd of caribou being stalked by lions; they were just waiting to cull the weak from the herd. LOL It was insanity to say the least. It was fun and fabulous, but most certainly NOT for the weak of heart.

We’re walkin through, taking in the sites, and BAM! “HI!!! Can I interest you in…….?” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I’m not much for sales people and their tacky pitches…..mainly because I’m a sales person myself. We’re not all tacky and sleazy, so I get irritated with those that are. Take one DJ service for example: they had four great services and my sister wanted three; he’s telling my sister, “Well, see, for today, I’ll take this much off this service, and this much off this one, and this much off this one.” As he’s doin his spiel, I’m getting out my calculator and adding it up. As he’s goin on and on, I nonchalantly slide my phone in front of my sister, and quietly say, “You’re lookin at this much.” (No, most days I don’t enunciate the “g” at the end of words, unless I’m pissed off, then I put the best English teacher to shame haha) I think she barely contained her eye balls in their sockets. The groom’s to my right, gallantly fighting an air fist pump that his soon to be wife chose her shrew of a sister to be her fair and conscientious MOH. It was over $2000. Mind you, our budget, is $4000-$5000, lock, stock, and barrel.
Yes, it can be done. It’s not that hard to find ideas and put them together. Goddess knows, it’s Hella more budget friendly for materials than it is for the finished product.

My Sissy, (her nick name since I was a child) wants her entire wedding and reception for $5000 or under, she’s going to get it. It can be done I tell you!

I’m actually looking into certification for wedding planning. I think I’d dig it as a career. Nothing has ever really seemed like a good fit, this may be it. I like chaos and creativity, honestly, it’s what I did best before I was ever sick. When I pull this off, (There are no ifs in life, either take that damned bull by the horns, or learn to be a rodeo clown) I’ll have that under my belt. I’m just looking into it, but hey, ya gotta start some where.

Aaaaaaanyway.

It was interesting, passing those that we didn’t like, and finding those that we did. There were a lot of awesome ideas, but some of these things were SO over priced. I liked a lot of the items, but let’s be real. When you have an item, a single item for $30, that I KNOW the materials cost less than $5, AND I can make it? That shit is too steep. Come on. Seriously. I’m all for supporting local business and the like, but if it’s not necessary, why are you bothering me with it? If it’s something a six year old can make, why are you bothering me with it, with a price tag that’s insulting, to say the least?

What can I say? I’m a tough sell, and I will not apologize for that.

Aside from those so-easy-a-child-could-make-it items, I did see some truly creative things that took some real skill. THOSE are the things you should be charging $30 a pce for, more on the larger items. I just don’t like price gouging, wedding or not. When it comes to spending money, I am cheap cheap cheap just like a baby bird. Though, make no mistake, this doesn’t stop me from occasionally drooling over certain pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes, but I’m a budget kinda girl……my seester…..mmmm, not so much lol

She doesn’t want to go into debt for this, and I don’t think she should. I don’t think ANY bride and her family should, or her wedding party.

The research about MOH and Bride’s maids duties (Note to self: research written ideas, you forgot…) alone brought up soooo many results from wedding parties bitching about costs. In one, a bride had demanded, yes, literally, DEMANDED, that her wedding party spend $5000 each. She wanted a destination engagement party, a destination bridal shower, destination bachorette, and, you guessed it, a destination wedding. The logistics alone would be a friggin nightmare. You’d think, “Well, I guess she and her friends were in that bracket of annual salary” and you’d guess wrong. Watch yourself ladies, don’t become THAT Bridezilla. I’d have truly thought it was just one person blowing the whole scenario out of proportion, but it was a thread from the entire wedding party bitching about it. That’s when it’s time to collectively have  what I have dubbed, “Interbitchin”. Sit that bitch down and explain that yes, she IS the bride, but to also be realistic of others’ budgets.

I’m fairy certain I won’t be required to do this with my sister; but that hasn’t stopped me from pleading with the Gods of Weddings that I never have to hehe.

So this was my first foray into what was called the “Bridal Bash”. It was fun, fabulous, grueling, exciting, and most of all educational. I’m confident I can help to give my sister the wedding that she wants, for the price tag she’s labeled it with.  

From making facebook groups for the wedding party as a whole and for the bride’s maids, to getting what you want in tune with what you can afford, I’m your MOH/Wedding Planner, at your service! *Takes a bow*

I hope you’ve all enjoyed the first foray, I’ll be keeping it all updated, as the Insanity has to go some where, and this seems a healthy outlet. Lol

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